mariahussain

February 24, 2009

Islamo-Christianity is Here

Filed under: Blogroll — mariahussain @ 3:59 am

I have an article brewing entitled “Islamo-Christianity is here.” My thesis is that the Jews, with their secularization and multi-culturalism, tried to erode the Christian faith in the Church. However, no matter what they did, 95% levels (or more) of Americans believe in either God or angels. They can’t take it away from us. So we are left with this formless belief that there is a Creator, who sent down lots of different messengers who started different religions at different places and times, but it all about says the same thing: Love thy neighbor as thyself, and strive to be less egotistical and always be grateful to the One Who not only created you, but continues to give you life at each moment. You are powerless to control this force. It’s all good. Most Americans are spiritual rather than being attached to one religion or another. That’s Islam. The only reason people don’t realize it is because they have been lied to by Jews and Orientalists.

Orientalism is a field of western liberal education, that came from justifying colonialism, where they study other countries with the assumption that white European Christian society (the West) is superior to theirs. It’s typically looking at The Other as Exotic. If you go to college in the US that is what Eastern Studies or Arab Studies or African Studies usually deals with. Orientalists will tell you all this totall BS about the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) that comes from old Christian writings NOT Islamic scripture.

Jewish Reformation and Enlightenment theory dominates liberal Democrat secular society as well as leftist, anarchist and Zionist societies, whose philosophers are primarily Jewish. (Marx, Emma Goldman, Herschel). In German culture, Jews became reformed or enlightened in order to be able to fit in with the dominant culture, eat pork and dress in everyday clothes. The result of this however is that Christians too began to belittle religion in general. A tacit societal agreement emerged, that because the Jew gave up his religion, the Christian should give up his religion too, to be secular. Israel Shamir talks about some of this in his writing.

“Neo-Judaism is the unofficial faith of the American Empire, and the war in the Middle East is indeed the Neo-Judaic Jihad… Neo-Judaism is the cult of globalism, neo-liberalism, destruction of family and nature, anti-spiritual and anti-Christian… But Islam is the last great reservoir of spirit, tradition and solidarity, and the Neo-Jews fight it with all firepower at their disposal… the war on Islam is a stage of the last war, the War on Christ… Thus the actions of the Neo-Jews eventually lead to the profanation of the world, and, on another level, to liberation from the limitations imposed by the society and God, to the victory of individualism.” [http://www.israelshamir.net/English/Theopolitics.htm]

To quote my husband Joachim Martillo, “Piety towards God and righteousness toward one’s fellow man represent the core of the Gospel teaching.”

The Gospel is one of the four books of Islam, which include in their original form the Torah, the Gospel, the Psalms, and the Quran. Whether you call the Gospel Christianity or Islam, striving for righteousness as followers of God through the guidance of prophets and with faith in the Messiah, summarizes the basic idea. The point of all true religion is to teach mankind the difference between right and wrong. There is a difference between right and wrong and the difference is clear. In fact, if your relationship with your soul is pure you probably don’t even need to be told. But nobody is pure and we all need some basic guidelines for human life to continue smoothly.

That’s what prophets are for. Faith in the scripture is based on the belief that God gave certain people wisdom, which they transmitted to others, about how to maximize our success during our life journey. Not all people have time to go inside and meditate and let go of our ego to the point we are riding a winged horse to Jerusalem to lead the prayer with Abraham, Jesus and Moses to ascend to the Throne of Allah. Most of us cannot do this because we are busy trying to survive. That is why we trust the sacred teachings and we interpret them within our own selves as to what verses have the most resonance at a given moment. We don’t believe them to be true, we know them to be true because we read them.

“Verily, for the righteous are Gardens of delight in the Presence of their Lord. Shall we then treat the people of Faith like the people of Sin? What is the matter with you? How judge you?” [Al-Quran 68:34-36]

To me, this verse makes me think immediately of those who equate Palestinian self-defense with Israeli aggression. How can you say they are equally evil when Israel is preventing people from getting water? To someone else, this verse will say something on another level that relates to their needs.

That’s what Islam is all about. Like the inverse of the Hell’s Angels saying, “We don’t choose our members, we recognize them,” Muslims are those who recognize the ancient voice of God in the Quran and they realize they have always believed that, like they recognize the veins on the back of their own hands.

Pagan societies work hard to create idols and then worship them. We imagine a thin woman, who we want to be. We meditate all day about being empty and clean and serene, reciting affirmations to ourselves. But is this a religion? The Quran states:

“Say: Do ye then take (for worship) protectors other than Him, such as have no power either for good or for harm to themselves?” [Al-Quran 13:16]

If I weigh 90 pounds or 190 pounds, and I have weighed both, is that going to matter on the Last Day?

Becoming a responsible person is about long term planning. Instead of counting calories think about how many people you could be feeding with the amount of dollars you’ve got. It’s a mental revolution.

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February 10, 2009

Maria on Domestic Abuse

Filed under: Islam, Marriage — mariahussain @ 12:20 am

Not to step on anyone’s toes but I must also point out that women are also the problem. Lack of self esteem in women more precisely. There are varying types of abuse: emotional abuse, emotional neglect, physical neglect, and physical abuse. A person is more able to tolerate that which she has been exposed to in her childhood. Each woman has to decide what she, personally, can tolerate and where is the line. If her husband crosses that line, she must pack up her things, take her kids, go somewhere safe, and contact a lawyer. Credit card checks come in handy until you can get a hold of your father. Don’t waste your time with “free legal advice” or “women’s empowerment organizations.” You need to get a lawyer and file for child support the day you leave. Go to priceline.com and bid for a hotel room at 1/3 the price. If God gives you the permission to leave (you must pray istikhara), you should go. If you don’t, you risk being guilty of not protecting your children from negative influences. It could only take one night with you gone for him to wake up. It is definitely worth a try, in order to save your marriage and family.

It doesn’t have to be physical abuse. If a mother is living in a situation where her husband disrespects or belittles her as a general attitude, the children will not be able to respect her and obey her and she will not be able to guide them. If she values her role as a mother on this earth, she needs to either firmly insist that her husband be “on her side” or else get out of there quick. She should trust Allah for the sustainence. You cannot allow anyone to disrespect you in front of your children. Your children are more important than your marriage. She can find another man who is not corrupt.

If a woman truly loves her husband, but he has some emotional maturity issues, she still has to separate from him from for the sake of the kids. Usually, within five years, a man will begin to miss his wife and realize what a schmuck he was. It can take time. But if she doesn’t go, then she’s giving him the permission to act that way and the children will not be raised in an emotionally secure atmosphere, and this will result in permanent damage.

It is totally possible for a single woman or a remarried woman to raise her kids in an emotionally secure environment. It’s just a matter of making that your priority.

The biggest fear is the fear of change. That is a lack of faith in Allah. Life is a journey and the secret to a long life is knowing when it’s time to go. In this day of global communication you can find a new husband within two weeks. I know women with diseases who are not even good looking who find new husbands. All you have to do is be available.

Even if you were to simply stand by the side of the road with your children asking for a ride from a stranger, I guarantee God is going to send you an angel to help you. This is your life and your soul. You can’t answer for him. The mother is responsible to protect the children and that includes not allowing them to witness her being diminished by others.

February 6, 2009

Maria’s Marriage Advice

Filed under: Blogroll, Interfaith, Islam, Marriage, Women — Tags: , , — mariahussain @ 7:26 pm

A friend of mine is planning on writing a book on marriage from the Islamic perspective so I put my 2 cents in:

Christians tend to fall in love and get married. They usually have a wonderful first year of marriage, and then it goes downhill. So, in order to rescue a marriage they have to remember why they fell in love in the first place, and practice having good manners and communication skills.

But for Muslims, the problem is that they tend to marry someone they hardly know. The first year of marriage is usually very hard. There is no period of happiness to look back on. Marriage is almost like a job. It’s worse than a job. The main focus seems to be on “tolerating” each other. Our approach should be to help Muslim couples learn to like each other hopefully before they get married.

I think also one of the hardest things in the Muslim world is because a lot of people are emotionally damaged from witnessing acts of violence or some emotional family trauma from the past. This can cause people to shut down and not really view others as human. So the wife becomes “that irritating woman” – the man is just a “dick with a wallet.” Once you label a person, then anything they do is seen through this distorted lens.

Probably a good approach would be to emphasize marriage as a path to spiritual awakening. The Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) said: “Marriage is half the faith.” Marriage can lead to joy but more importantly, the emotional maturation process that comes from gradually learning to detach from your ego.

Many people think it’s enough to just be married. You don’t have to learn how to love with your heart, or how to keep on giving and being just even when you don’t feel that loving. Muslim men sometimes think that love and true friendship is not a requirement of marriage, as long as they are paying the bills. They just shut down, and submit to an unhappy existence, trapped together due to societal expectations.

Marriage should be emphasized as a spiritual practice for learning to reduce ego attachment, a form of meditation and seeking God [dhikr]. When the relationship has problems, it is a mirror to help you discover your own inner self, your reactions and motivations, and to recover forgotten memories.

In Catholic churches, when they do pre-marital and marital counseling, what they do is ask questions that give you topics to discuss that help you understand each others’ feelings.

For me, the questions I would advise my kids to think about first and foremost before marriage:

Do you enjoy each others’ company? Do you laugh together? Does conversation come easily or with difficulty? Are you attracted to each other? When you are apart, can you feel the other thinking about you? Do you support each others’ plans, dreams and goals in life? Do you like talking about the same topics? Are there any activities that you both enjoy? Do you have the same expectations of the requirements of the wedding, marriage and family? Do you feel strongly about the other person’s bad habits? Does the other person admire or feel alienated by your strongest qualities? Are you hoping the other person is going to change after marriage or can you take them as they are? Will you still enjoy their company after they lost their good looks? When you are with them, do you find yourself toning down your true personality in order to seem more pleasing?

Other factors include language, culture and social class differences. Is the extended family going to give your spouse a hard time? If so – is it fair to expose them to this type of long term emotional abuse?

It’s important to find out ahead of time: Is he or she the kind of person that says everything they think as they are thinking it, or do they hold back information? Do they ask for their needs or wait for you to notice?

When I decided to leave my husband it was because he told me “I love you but I don’t like you.” I felt that if he couldn’t find anything about me to like after 5 years, we cannot stay together because there is nothing more insulting than someone just staying with you ‘for the sake of the kids’. I believe the dislike came from his tendency to label me negatively if he didn’t understand a behavior, rather than try to understand where I’m coming from. I was always just his “white lady.” He didn’t know how I am different from other white women. His main concern was that I should fit in with the other Muslim women. It turned out that I was holding him back from what he wanted to do with his life, namely fit in with the group, and he was holding me back from fulfilling my goals and dreams, which involves forging ahead of the group in order to work on solving the problems of the world.

In the end I realized that he did love me but the bottom line was he really just wanted to have sex with me. He didn’t actually have the strength to incorporate me into his life full time. He should have just made a private marriage with me if he was smart. It was the involvement of the family and community that destroyed the relationship. They told him that because he married me, that he had betrayed his people, and that kind of thing. He was filled with guilt and shame that people thought it was a “love marriage.” The truth was that I was not even attracted to him. I married him for religion.

I believe that in a successful marriage, “I” and “You” become “We.” The couple thinks as a team and feels as a team. There are probably some spiritual exercises that can help this happen. It’s really important to put “We” before the rest of the world. Otherwise every time you go out, the spouse becomes embarrassed of you. I remember my husband always judging me after a social occasion on the way home. “You talk too much, it’s humiliating.” or “Why didn’t you talk? You embarrass me.” Clearly he was determined to view me negatively no matter what I did.

If we had done a temporary marriage first, or if we simply had gone out for dinner like normal Americans, we may not even have had a second date. The truth was we didn’t have much to talk about. I would have found him too uptight and he would have found me too wild, and that would be the end. It was because we were trying to be so Islamic that we married a near stranger and went through so much pain learning that not everyone is compatible.

He took the time to take me out for fun somewhere finally, when I was threatening to divorce him – and it was really enlightening and almost amusing to realize how little he understood about me and how little he cared to share. After five years of marriage, we had no idea what to talk about other than politics or Dajjal (the Anti-Christ). We just didn’t find each other that interesting.

Before I was Muslim, I briefly dated an Indian Hindu man. What happened was he took me out to dinner a few times and he always sat like 5 feet away from me. He was very modest. I found him nice but I had no attraction to him. He had an experience though, which my husband unfortunately only had after I left him. When the Hindu man was visiting my home, which I shared with a friend, he saw my room. It was just a mattress on the floor, a rug for prayer and meditation, a brick that I used for a table that had some dried flower petals in a dish, and a small bookshelf. Something about glimpsing my private space made him say to me, “All the other people at work always say bad things about you but the truth is, you are the nicest person I have ever met in my life.”

He seemed like a sweet child who liked to give me presents. His mother found out he was seeing me, had a fit, and forced him to break up with me. I didn’t even consider him my boyfriend, to me he was like a friend. He came over crying and saying he couldn’t marry me. I was surprised because I had no idea he wanted to marry me. Truthfully if he had asked me, I would have gently but certainly told him no! I had no attraction to him whatsoever. True, I could have grown to love him because he was so nice, but I was not heartbroken – not even a little – that he couldn’t marry me. In fact I found the strange situation slightly funny though sad that he suffered for me. He actually quit his job where I also worked, because it was too painful for him to see me anymore.

I believe that with my first husband, had we gone out to dinner a few times before marriage, probably by the second date I really would have been clear that I didn’t want to marry him. OR, we might have had a chance to become good friends and got some inner glimpse of each others’ true selves, before trying to start a family. In which case the marriage would have had more team spirit because it would be based on admiration and respect for the inner person.

My ex-husband told me, after he got married to another woman, now he realizes what a kind and forgiving person I was. However, his elder sisters chose and approved her so I guess that weird family power trip is what matters most in their culture. And people call Islam a patriarchal society?

No regrets though. I learned a lot of things from the experience, healed in many ways and was wounded in many ways, felt things I never felt before and will never feel again. To every thing there is a season.

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